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08 January 2013


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I'm so sorry for such a painful loss for you and your family. It is a shocking thing when love is not enough to penetrate deeply held sadnesses - we have to keep on though, don't we?

Will be thinking of you and yours as I go about the everyday.

My dear D, my thoughts are with you and your family in pain and grief.
M x

I am so sorry for you loss. The grief of this double bereavement is almost unimaginable. Your reflection on love, though, hits the spot exactly and, for what it's worth, I will be praying for your family.

So sorry. Please acept my heartfelt condolences.

I am so sorry. May you and your family find strength and solace in each other.

Oh gosh... I am just so, so, sorry. For you, and also for your brother and his family. You're right, it doesn't seem to be the natural order of things. It's what my MIL said when her middle child died in his early fifties, and while my own mother didn't say it when my brother died in his forties, I'm sure she struggled with that thought, privately. She was a nurse, so of course saw a lot of things that weren't 'in the natural order of things'.

It must be so very hard to lose a child. I hope I never have to deal with it. My sympathies.

Hello, I've just found your wonderful blog but I'm so sorry to read your most recent post. You write beautifully and poetically. I know how hard it is to lose two loved ones close in time. I recently lost my Mum and Dad within a year of each other. When I read that you are a cancer survivor too, well, I knew I had to add you my list of blogs to read. I had aggressive breast cancer at the age of 40 (not as aggressive as me though-ha!) and all's well. Best wishes to you and your family at this sad time, Claire

In my mid 30s I lost both my parents within a few months. The love and kindness shown to me at that time was bitter sweet, I couldn't have managed without it yet I the grief was dreadful and the pain never really goes. We just learn to live with it. A beautifully expressed post, I am sorry for your sadness and sending you kind thoughts.

Thank you all so very much for your kindness and understanding - and for your good wishes, which I have shared with my family. I can see that others of you have walked this path, as have close friends of mine, you are absolutely right Jennyff, ' . . . the pain never really goes. We just learn to live with it'. And we do.

In the days since I wrote this post, there have been times, experiences, books - and the dear dogs, of course - that gave me great pleasure, that made me smile, and an evening with friends during which we laughed long and often about all manner of things.

Claire, welcome and I hope you will return, often. I loved your comment about the pesky cancer not being as aggressive as you!

Not sure how I stumbled across your blog. Perhaps via "Life on a Small Island" ?

Lovely touching post. Oh the burdens people carry in the silence of their hearts.

I try to think of that when someone cuts me off in traffic. Really I do.

All the best from Nova Scotia.

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Thought for life

  • The House of Breath, William Goyen
    We are the carriers of lives and legends - who knows the unseen frescoes on the private walls of the skull?

Thinking about . . .

  • Daniel Klein, Travels with Epicurus
    I too listen to music more and more. Throughout my life, music has stirred me more than any other art form, and now, in old age, I find myself listening to it almost every evening, usually alone, for hours at a time.
  • Julia Blackburn, Thin Paths
    I began writing because I liked to write things down. I learnt foreign languages because they seemed to enter my head by a process of osmosis.
  • Joan Bakewell, Stop the Clocks
    I live contentedly alone. It's better that way and I am often thoughtful about what has been and what might have been. There are many like me.
  • Patti Smith, M Train
    Oh to be reborn within the pages of a book.
  • Patti Smith, M Train
    Why is it that we lose the things we love, and things cavalier cling to us and will be the measure of our worth after we’re gone?
  • Judith Kerr, Observer Magazine, 22 November 2015
    I don't believe in God. I find it much easier to believe in ancestors. I like to imagine they are pointing us in the right direction.

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