'And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest'

On Monday, my cousin, his wife and I made the same journey from the South West of England to Wales, to the same village church where family and friends had gathered little more than a fortnight ago to say farewell to my niece. And, just as it had on the day of my niece's funeral, the sun poured down on us but even more brightly. It was the sort of weather that one always wants on the first day of a holiday; we could hardly believe that we were now on our way to say farewell to my niece's mother, my dear sister-in-law, whom my cousin and I had known for almost sixty years, since we were children.

But the ancient church gathered us all in and gave us time and space in which we could both grieve and celebrate a long life, a life well lived and a life full of love. The four of us who spoke in her memory, each had our own particular and precious recollections but, without any prior conferring, we were as one in recounting her great loves: family, friends, home, dogs - and all animals and wildlife, music, laughter, jokes, cooking, parties and entertaining. The doors of her home - and her heart - were always open and, over the years, she had welcomed so many across the threshold of both.

One of the passions we shared was music and it was my sister-in-law who introduced me, when I was still very young, to classical music. Her great musical loves included Italian opera, choral music, and the tenor voice; she shared those loves with me, a gift that has lasted a lifetime. But she made music too: playing the piano was the source of much joy and was her escape from the demands of everyday life. 

This being Wales, the music at her funeral was very fine indeed, uplifting us and soothing us like balm: as a congregation, we sang Psalm XXIII, set to Crimond and that great Welsh anthem, Cwm Rhonnda, (Guide Me O Thou Great Redeemer). My sister-in-law had sung with the Monmouth Choral Society, many of whose members, including close friends, formed the choir who sang her to her rest - Mozart's Ave Verum Corpus during the reflection and, at the closing, the Sarum Prayer, God be in my head, set to music by Walford Davies. The simplest of words, centuries old, the profoundest of meanings. It mattered not who was a believer and who was not; the beauty of the music gave us a safe harbour for our shared tears and sadness and, above all, a setting in which to give great thanks for her life and for the love we had for her and she for us.

So, this, for my unforgettable sister-in-law, now resting at peace with the two of her beloved children who went before her.

Comments

[Wendy]

A lovely tribute which as always made me not just think but feel. It did make me think that whatever our religion or non religion these age old rituals meet a profound need not just in the brain but in all the senses. They are about the subtlety of being human. Thank you for the music which flowed through me. And I am reminded that we are all mortal, wxx

[christina]

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It is through sharing these experiences that we learn we are all connected in our humanity. Someone somewhere feels less alone with their grief (perhaps an old grief/perhaps new... there is always grief aplenty) today because of you and because of the well lived life of your good sister-in-law. Everyone who reads these words has an opportunity to consider what makes life good, to appreciate the lives of those we have lost and to consider how we might enhance our own lives while we can. What you write here matters more than you can know. Sharing being human is a most important business. Thank you.
christina

[Sybil]

My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

In the end, all that is left is love. But oh, love is a wonderful thing.

[Lorraine]

A lovely tribute to your sister-in-law. May she rest in peace. My condolences to you and your family.

[Wendy]

Thank you Boots for recommending the John McCormack version of She Moved Through the Fair across on my blog. It was a revelation and I've added the link to the main body of the post. Like your music here it allows music to speak what is almost impossible to say.WX

[Jay from The Depp Effect]

I'm so sorry. It's very hard saying goodbye to beloved family members, and two within such a short space of time is doubly hard. Losing two children before departing yourself? Unthinkable.

I know what you mean about the music and the beauty, whether you believe or not the beauty is still there. 'God be in my head' was our school anthem and I remember singing it often, but I didn't know it was that old.